Once upon a Christmas...

Cheerfully smiling with the light of happiness... Holding blissful hopes... With will and compassion to carry on... Holding our hearts... Lighting the way... For everyone we love... To live without a care... With eternal snow... Forever drifting... Upon the winds of our hearts...

A Prayer of Thought

Hold your hands out to the heavens above and whisper....
"I believe....
What may come
What may rise
What may appear out of this heavenly sky
tonight....
Will be what I yearn for...Most of all
Let it be naught of greed...of strife
Let it be free of wrath and pride
So it will be...
What I truly seek inside."

What if...
Had I held on, I'd have wasted my time?
That the madness, the delusions within my mind,
Clouded the reality I see?

What if...
Had I let go, I'd have lost it all?
That the fear, the despair within my heart,
Tainted everything I believe?

What if...
Faith was never True...
That all you believe is a lie,
And we're all just kidding ourselves in the end.

What if...
Doubt is the only Enemy...
That it's the demon in disguise,
And we're all too apathetic to give a damn.

What if...
I had just closed my eyes...
Would the cruelties of the world disappear?
...
No...
I guess it wouldn't, would it?
So you...
Yes you...
You who chanced upon this rambling of mind and thought...
I want you to struggle on...
Through all the anguish and agony,
Past all the fear and fury,
And beyond the doubt and despair...
You....
You who carries the future in your hands...
Understand...
These words I have given...
So live...
Without regret.

This was a dream I had this morning. You can probably guess right off the top of your head what it's about.
But that's not why it's important to me.
Read it and maybe you'll find out.

Wondering Alive

I remember...A festival...
I was walking down a street....
Then, for some reason, I entered a restaurant.
I sat at a table and glanced around.
She...
The girl from my dreams...
She looked into my eyes and said...
"I know all of your flaws. All of the things that make you bad.
But...there's something that I want to say to you."
I was puzzled, confused, and...happy when she spoke to me.
The fact that, even after all of that, she still had something to say...
It made me nervous, it did. The thought of what it could be scared me.
But...At the same time, what she could've said gave me hope...
All of a sudden, I appeared in the street...walking aimlessly.
...And then, I remembered.

I ran towards the restaurant and entered, but she wasn't there.
I frantically searched for her...
I entered a store...Meandering aimlessly until I reached the back door which was strangely propped open.
Outside, was a truck...That was giving stuff away.
All you had to do was make a face to the man in the back of the truck.
There was several people around the truck...Megan....Cody....Probably Bryan...Mmm, strange, I can't remember more.
By the time I got there, all he had left was...A pound bag of squash....?
A huge bag of potatoes....Vegetables...
And a small bag which contained one fat lumped odd looking C-Chip cookie.
The chips reminded me of...Well, me. So I pointed at it.
I made the face of me...Smiling so hard that it stretched my neck and cheeks, made my neck tendons stand out and tried to make the widest smile I could
He laughed and gave me the cookie bag...And then complained about what the hell he was going to do with squash.
...
He was a odd fellow.

Near the back door of the store, was a bunch of people who I had trapped outside because I had closed Steven and Eric were trying to break it down.
Suddenly, the door creaked open.
It was...her friend I believe...
I asked her if she knew where...she was...Over and over.
I was still trying to get to her. Because...Do I even know now? I wonder...
I woke up slightly, I remember seeing my room and then falling back asleep.
I asked her one last time, if this was just all a dream, if this was really true.
She...told me yes.
That what I had all experienced wasn't a lie.
I followed her...Out of the building. And I kept following her, because I hoped...That maybe...
Just maybe, I could see her again....
And then I woke up....
I never got to hear what she had to say in the end...
Perhaps I'll hear it the next time...
But...
What would I hear?

I guess I'll just have to keep wondering.
Maybe I'll never find out in this life.